


The Fullmetal Alchemist and The Prisoner of Azkaban

by Roxi2Star



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Edward Elric Keeps Alchemy, Edward Elric Teaches Alchemy, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multiple Universes Colliding, Not To Be Taken Completely Seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-04-14 14:32:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14138022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roxi2Star/pseuds/Roxi2Star
Summary: It had taken no less than three hours for Edward to be convinced that Magic was real. At first he was ill- magic. Real magic. Magic that went against everything he believed in. It took another hour for him to calm down and for this Dumbledore to explain that Magic and Alchemy weren’t so different. Magic had similar rules. Nothing comes from nothing, and nothing can bring back the dead. Once Edward had calmed and listened-He was fascinated. He had 10,000 theories and wanted to look into the school’s library (where there is a school there is a library, and then there is research). However Dumbledore only smiled at his request to raid the library. If Edward wanted to be at the school he needed to work there. Teaching Alchemy.It took no less than 5 minutes to convince him, even if he shouted loud “Nos!” at first. All Dumbledore had to say was“It’s equivalent exchange. To gain knowledge you must give knowledge.”By sunrise, there was a new subject at Hogwarts.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to hell dear reader. I have recently rediscovered my two long loves and have decided to write a FMA and HP crossover featuring Professor Ed. Just some things to note before you begin, this fic is garbage. I mean it. It's one of the worst things I've written in a while. But you know what? I don't care and I love it anyway. It's a love letter to myself. It has flaws, out of characterness here and there, and bull shit that just happens because it can. It doesn't take itself seriously and neither should you. It's good, cheesy fun with some serious themes here and there. The writing is bad but like I said I don't care! It's my trash baby fic by me for me, describing my love to me. I just wanna share.
> 
> Have fun and enjoy my absolute trash :)

It had been a month since Edward had went off to search the west, and learn about their forms of Alchemy. He started heading South West to the country of Aerugo. Aerugo was an interesting country, with a rainy and cold climate. Even though it was a southern nation. Something about sea currents and wind pressure making it so cold. Aside from the cold it was a forest region. With woods so thick and trees so high it sometimes felt like he was walking at night. 

 

Ed marched on, ignoring the slight ache in his left leg from the weather. He was traveling the forest because of a rumor. An old legion saying that there was a doorway that lead to another world. Hardly anyone had seen it ever and most thought it to be a myth. But something about it had peaked Edward’s interest. It might not lead to another world but it would most likely be interesting and help his research. 

 

However, it was starting to wear on him. What would this door even look like? He sighed as he marched on. Honestly, this trek through the woods reminded him of running around the Amestrian woods with Greed. He smiled softly. Edward had been very stressed at the time with the upcoming Promise Day, but Greed sure knew how to relieve pressure when he wanted it. A soft blush dusted Ed’s cheeks as he remembered those days. 

 

_ “I want everything Ed. That includes you”  _

 

_ “Well, why shouldn’t I want love? I’m Greed the avaricious. I want the finer things and whats finer than Love and World domination?”  _

 

_ “The prince wanted me to tell you he likes your ass too”  _

 

Ed gave a hard sigh. He missed Greed. It hurt to think about sometimes. Though he’s sure even if Greed had survived he’d still be with Winry. She was the love of his life really- but he supposed Greed would want them both. And others. Maybe Winry could have enjoyed him too. 

 

He shook the thought. He needed to focus on the task at hand, finding this stupid door or whatever it was and not think about something like that. He stomped his feet a little annoyed with his own thoughts. He was so wrapped up, he nearly passed what was clearly the door he was looking for. 

 

He turned his attention to it. It was rather small and imbedded into a rock. Fancy writing on it saying something in a language Edward couldn’t read. He came closer, bending down the tiniest bit to get a good look. 

 

“Sorta looks like Aerugian? But more... I dunno gruff?” He mumbled aloud. “Okay- that word is similar to Doorway, but...” He gave a hard sigh. “Well. Let’s take a look at this magic doorway.” He used his right hand, and opened the handle. It came open with some trouble but he managed.Behind the door was dark, but Ed could make out a long path covered in cobwebs. He grinned.  “Well I’ll be damned. Let’s see where you go.” He walked in, feeling his way down a path. It seemed to only be about 20 yards or so until he hit another door. He found the handle and came out into the woods again. 

 

Accept it was a different wood and it was the middle of the night. Edward looked behind him. The way he came in was still open and poured in sunlight. His jaw nearly dropped. It wasn’t possible. Was it? A door that lead to another world? Or perhaps it was just more world than they thought they had... 

 

He took a step back and surveyed his surroundings. It was warm, felt like summer. Which was strange. It should be in the middle of March. This was definitely late summer air. He walked back down the path and checked he had a way back. It would be no use to get stuck someplace like this. Once he made sure he had an escape route he carried on. 

 

These woods were different. The trees felt more alive somehow and the air was thick with something. The best he could describe it was the way Ling had described “The Dragon’s Pulse”. He moved on until the silhouette of a castle was seen in the distance. He followed it and came to the end of the forest. The first thing was a small hut. It looked cozy. 

 

But the castle seemed to draw him near. It was the source of this feeling. He walked up the path and other a long wooden bridge before arriving at the front door. Should he knock? The castle looked inhabited. He shook his head and just came in. The inside was lovely with dark stone floors and another door before him. Voices could be heard inside... Not many, 10 maybe? 

 

Edward’s military instincts kicked in as he listened at the door. He could hear several people, men and woman. They seemed to be having as far as Edward could tell... A meeting. However, he couldn’t understand a lick of it. Suddenly the voices stopped and the doors seemed to open on their own. Causing poor Ed to fall into the room. He face planted into the hard floor as the voices grew closer.

 

He looked up- he seemed to be in some sort of eating hall with long tables. Candles floated and the sky seemed to shine through the roof. Before he could even process it, several sticks were pointed at him. Which was very funny looking to him- especially because the people holding them were all in dresses and pointy hats. Edward couldn’t help but roar with laughter. 

 

“I’m sorry-” He started “I’m sure you’re trying to threaten me but sticks? God did I have too much to drink or what...” He calmed down, looking at all the people. None of them seemed to have understood him. 

 

The oldest of the group said something and they all put the sticks down. The old man turned to Edward and offered a friendly smile. Edward hesitated before smiling back. He wasn’t going to hurt them and would like to apologise for trespassing. If he could speak the language. The old man said something again and gave his stick a wave. 

 

And suddenly- like a ton of bricks Edward knew English. It was very sudden and he was self aware that in an instant he knew a second language. 

 

“What the fuck?” Were the first words in english he ever spoke. The words were perfect, but he still had an accent. Almost Germen sounding. “That’s weird.” 

 

“My apologies. I simply had to fix the language barrier if we were going to get anywhere.” The old man said in a calm voice. “My name is Albus Dumbledore, and may I ask your name and how you came to be here.”

 

“How did- whatever I’ll ask later. I’m Edward Elric- I found this weird door that lead into your woods out there.” 

 

“A door in the forbidden forest?” An old woman in green asked. “Sir does he mean the one we could never open?” 

 

“It’s open now. I think.” Ed said “I double checked. Leads straight to Aerugo. Anyway- where am I? And what’s with the sticks?” 

 

“Their wands. And this is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.” Dumbledore said with a pleasant smile. Once again Edward laughed. 

 

“Is he a muggle...?” A woman asked. 

 

“He got in- He can’t be.” The old woman said 

 

“No, he’s no muggle.” Dumbledore said. “Did you say Aerugo? I’m not familiar with that place- but you look like a man I once knew who spoke of strange places. Tell me, are you familiar with a country called Amestris?” 

 

“Yep. It’s where I’m from.” Edward said, wiping away a tear from laughter. 

 

“Then I imagine you are an alchemist.”

 

“One of the best- but back to this english thing. How am I speaking it?” 

 

“I used a language charm on you.” Dumbledore said simply “Alchemist... It seems our worlds have come together once more. It seems we have a lot to talk about. The rest of you get to bed, the students will be here in a few weeks time for the start of term, perhaps we will be adding a last second new subject. Please Mr. Alchemist come this way.” 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Look, you're sticking around. Nice

It had taken no less than three hours for Edward to be convinced that Magic was real. At first he was ill- magic. Real magic. Magic that went against everything he believed in. It took another hour for him to calm down and for this Dumbledore to explain that Magic and Alchemy weren’t so different. Magic had similar rules. Nothing comes from nothing, and nothing can bring back the dead. Once Edward had calmed and listened- 

 

He was fascinated. He had 10,000 theories and wanted to look into the school’s library (where there is a school there is a library, and then there is research). However Dumbledore only smiled at his request to raid the library. If Edward wanted to be at the school he needed to work there. Teaching Alchemy. 

 

It took no less than 5 minutes to convince him, even if he shouted loud “Nos!” at first. All Dumbledore had to say was

 

“It’s equivalent exchange. To gain knowledge you must give knowledge.”

 

By sunrise, there was a new subject at Hogwarts. 

 

***

 

Edward had a few weeks to prepare. He took it in stride and figured out a way to contact his friends and family- the owls. These ‘wizards’ did it all by owl and it worked out alright for Ed. He was able to get a supply of a decent textbook from Amestris (Another teacher helped him translate them), a letter from Mustang about being careful in a new country and blah, blah. Needless to say, Ed had only skimmed it. He got a letter from Winry asking when he’d be home, and if she could get to him there. Ling sent a simple letter asking if Ed had gone mad. Not because of the magic, but that him being a teacher was a horrible idea. A letter from his teacher full of actually very helpful tips on teaching and a letter from Alphonse begging him not to beat up children. 

 

Edward made no such promise. 

 

It didn’t take long to get a nice deal with Dumbledore worked out. Al and Winry could visit whenever. Winry because of his automail and Alphonse because he could help demonstrate on occasion. He would only teach 3rd year and up. And only one class per grade 2 times a week. This left him with plenty of time to research. He was given a large classroom and an office and sleeping quarters. He quickly invaded the space. 

 

Books of Alchemy (and whatever he fancied from the library) piled all over the place. Photos- yes photos. Of his loved ones all over the place. He was starting to feel like Hughes... He always had a picture of Winry in his pocket and was willing to show it off. He had dozens of them. Pictures of Alphonse getting better, ones of his military friends, the chimeras, and even a bunch of Ling on the few times they saw each other.

 

Edward had truly made his office a sort of home base and didn’t like exploring the castle. It was a damn maze. He only ever went to the owlry, the great hall, library and his room. The other teachers only saw him at meals on occasion and they were always full of questions. He had been hired in such a hurry, leaving them all out of the loop. The first time he came down for a meal they all pounced him with questions. 

 

“Just how old are you?” A very tiny man asked. 

 

“18.” Edward answered as he sat. 

 

“And you can teach?” A greasy haired man with a nasty smirk asked. 

 

_ “Probably better than you.” _ Ed mumbled in Amestrian. 

 

“Severus.” The old woman snapped “Mr. Elrich...?” 

 

“Elric.” Ed corrected sitting. 

 

“Mr. Elric, has the trust of Dumbledore. He hired him on the spot- that must mean he has a lot to offer.” 

 

“Thank you.” Edward said, for a moment touched. “I don’t think we’ve been introduced.” 

 

“Ah. My apologies Professor. Elric.” Dumbledore said “You’ve been so busy getting comfortable- best we do it now since we’re almost all here. Professor Trelawney is staying in her tower as normal and Professor Lupin” The greasy haired man’s face twisted into a frown “won’t be with us until the start of term I’m afraid. Their introductions will have to wait.” Dumbledore smiled and introduced the whole staff one at a time. “Now as for the rest of you, I am aware Professor Elric is young but he demonstrated some of his abilities in my office when we met. He is most gifted. His age should not stop you from treating him as you would any colleague.

 

“Now, as most of you know the Dementors of Azkaban will be arriving tomorrow during the day. They will not be aloud on the grounds, and will simply guard the gate. I would like all of you to keep an eye out for Harry Potter, as his life is in more danger than any other student.” Edward nodded. He had been doing mountains of research in the few weeks he has been there. The dementors sounded awful, as did this Sirius Black. And that poor Harry kid. Ed could sympathise greatly with him. 

 

Perhaps he’d have a talk with him once school started.

 

***

 

Before Edward knew it, students were coming into the great hall. The normal empty chair on his right was now filled with a middle aged man- who really did not look well. His clothes were raddy and his hair a mess but he seemed rather kind. Sort of reminded Edward of Alphonse. 

 

“Edward right?” The man asked after sitting down. “I’m Remus Lupin. I’ll be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts.” 

 

“Hello.” Edward said, shaking his hand and meeting his eyes. Lupin’s eyes were golden as well. 

 

“Oh.” He said softly looking Edward over before relaxing. “Nevermind.” He shook his head and sighed. 

 

“Ok..?” Edward asked looking out onto the crowd noticing that several of the students kept looking up and over at him. Many of them girl who looked away and giggled madly. “Is that normal...?” 

 

“No.” Lupin said a soft smile on his lips “Looks like you may have a few students who think you’re attractive.” 

 

“Damn.” Edward gave a sigh “That sounds annoying.” 

 

Lupin was going to respond but the sorting had begun. Edward kept an eye on the hat at all times. It seemed as though it had a soul bond to it, but he was learning that nothing was the way it seemed in this god forsaken country. After the sorting Dumbledore stood and began his speech.

 

“Welcome!” said Dumbledore, the candlelight shimmering on his beard. “Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! I have a few things to say to you all, and as one of them is very serious, I think it best to get it out of the way before you become befuddled by our excellent feast...” 

 

Dumbledore cleared his throat and continued “As you will all be aware after their search of the Hogwarts Express, our school is presently playing host to some of the dementors of Azkaban, who are here on Ministry of Magic business. They are stationed at every entrance to the grounds,” Dumbledore continued “And while they are with us I must take it plain that nobody is the leave school without permission. Dementors are not to be fooled by tricks or disguises- or even Invisibility cloaks. It is not in the nature of a dementor to understand pleading or excuses. I therefore warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you. I look to the prefects, and our new Head Boy and Girl, to make sure that no student runs afoul of the dementors.” 

 

_ “God...”  _ Edward mumbled in Amestrian. 

 

“On a happier note,” He continued, “I am pleased to welcome three new teachers to our ranks this year. First professor Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.” A small amount of applause. “As to our second new appointment, Well I am sorry to tell you that Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher, retired at the and of last year in order to enjoy more time with his remaining limbs-” 

 

_ “Weak ass.”  _ Ed chuckled. Lupin shot him a look. 

 

“However I am delighted to say that his place will be filled by none other than Rubeus Hagrid, who as agreed to take on this teaching job in addition to his gamekeeping duties.”  A much louder set of applause was heard. Ed smiled at the large man. He looked overjoyed. “And finally I am pleased to say that for the first time in nearly 300 years Hogwarts will be offering Alchemy as a subject. And it will be taught by Professor Elric.” an even louder applause was given, if almost entirely from the girls. 

 

Edward flushed in embarrassment, but otherwise kept his cool. 

 

“I think they like you more than me.” Lupin said softly. 

 

“Shut up.” Ed said as the feast began. He had grown used to the food just appearing and ate a few helpings of this and that. “So, explain to me again this whole team thing.” He said to Lupin gesturing to the tables. 

 

“Houses.” Lupin corrected. “But I suppose they are rather like teams. Each student when they arrive is sorted into a house based on their personality, and the person they’ll likely become. Or they’ll be sorted into the place that will help them grow the most. But each year they have a competition. Whichever house earns the most points wins. As teachers we give points for correct answers, or good deeds and take them as punishments. You don’t have to worry about keeping track. Just say however many points to whatever house and it will be done by magic.” Lupin pointed at the four hour glasses.

 

“Fascinating.” Edward said “Now, how come the green team looks nastier than the others.” 

 

“Slytherin.” Lupin corrected. “And well... They have a bad reputation for producing evil witches and wizards...” 

 

“Ah.” Edward said finishing his plate. He never was to fond of green. Reminded him too much of a certain little monster. 

 

Once dinner was finished the kids started to leave. Edward stood and watched as three kids came right up to Hagrid to congratulate him. Ed smiled putting his hands in coat pockets and going to leave. 

 

“See ya Lupin.” He waved to the other and left the hall, planning to write Alphonse, Ling and Winry about his first day. 

 

***

 

Harry, Ron and Hermione walked up to the tower, lagging behind the crowd. They talked to each other about the staff appointments. 

 

“Alchemy. A whole new subject- I’ll be taking it of course!” Hermione said “I haven’t found much on Alchemy other than the Philosopher's stone but... Oh wow!” 

 

“Are you excited for the class or because the teacher is handsome?” Ron asked, a slight twinge of annoyance in his voice. 

 

“The subject.” Hermione said her cheeks pink “It doesn’t matter how handsome he is.” 

 

“No what’s impressive is his age.” Percy said from behind them “He doesn’t look much older than me.” He said before pressing on “Out of the way, the password is fortuna major!” 

 

“Percy has a point. Professor Elric is very young...” 

 

“Must be good at his job then.” Harry said with a shrug. “I’ll take Alchemy. It sounds better than most subjects we have.” He said as they were ushered into the tower. Alchemy did sound like fun. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

Edward sat on his desk as students began to fill his classroom. Every seat had been filled. He sighed softly, knowing that after the first week half of them would be gone. It was his first class, and it was the third years. Sitting in front were the three kids he had seen at the feast. He looked over the rest of the class- most looked good enough. A few of those green team members looked a little too dumb but Edward wasn’t going to judge them by appearances. 

 

“Welcome to Introduction to Alchemy.” A few girls swooned at his accent. “I am Professor Elric- Elric or Ed is fine. I’d say let’s do roll but I’m sure some of you are going to walk out halfway through so I’ll save roll for a few days.” The class seemed stunned by this statement. “I’m going to be very upfront about this. Alchemy is hard. Alchemy is dangerous. Alchemy takes lots of study and dedication to even do the simplest” He grabbed a hunk of chalk and in an instant drew a circle on the floor. He leaned down and touched it and it lit up with sparks making a small stone duck on the ground “Do the simplest of transmutations.” 

 

The entire class sat up to get a look, murmuring with excitement. He clapped his hands and fixed the floor before continuing. 

 

“But let’s start simply by going over what you know about Alchemy. Just raise your hand if you have any idea- uh you in the front Ms-” 

 

“Hermione.” She said “Alchemy is the art of turning lead into gold isn’t it?” 

 

“Ehh. Sorta. Yes, you can turn lead into gold. It's a simple transmutation. Alchemy is the science of understanding, deconstructing and reconstructing matter. But we’ll break that down throughout the year. Anything else?” 

 

“And the philosopher's stone, that makes the elixir of eternal life.” She added. 

 

“No.” Edward said. “The stone is a banned subject in the classroom as far as I’m concerned. It’s the devil’s research.”

 

“What’s so bad about it?” A snarky blonde in green asked. 

 

“We’ll be going over that and other taboos in the next few classes. Wait until then.” He said “Is there anything else...?” He asked hopefully. No one raised their hand “Damn.” He grabbed the chalk and wrote something on the board. “I guess we’ll start from the beginning. Can anyone tell me what this” He wrote Equivalent Exchange “means?” 

 

Hermione’s hand went up, but so did the black haired boy’s. He pointed to him “Mr.” 

 

“Harry Potter.” He said, with a smile. Ed’s eyebrows raised. This was him? Kinda scrawny. Then again so was Ed at that age. “I’m guessing... If you want something you have to give something equal to it.” 

 

“Right on the nose. 5 points to the red team.” 

 

“Gryffindor sir.” Harry corrected. 

 

“Right.” Edward waved him off. “Anyway, equivalent exchange is the basis of alchemy. It is the number one rule that dominates over the field. We’re going to spend the first few months on the first step of any transmutation. Understanding. To transmute you must know what the material is made up of.” He dug around in his desk, and grabbed a stack of papers “Some of you muggle borns” He smirked, he was adopting the culture. “May know about this. The table of elements. Every single thing in this world is made of these elements. You need to know them all and what they combine to make. But we’ll start with simple.” He started to hand out tables “Memorise this. These are your building blocks. Matter in its most basic form.” 

 

The students all looked down and groaned. It seemed impossible to memorise. 

 

“We’ll have a test on it next week. So, study, study, study!” He said going back to the blackboard. “Now, you also have a bit of homework. It’s not hard, just something to think about.” He erased the board and wrote in big letters All is One and One is All. “You all have a month to think this over. Write it down on a simple essay before then whenever you have it figured out.” They all nodded. “I’d write this down, it’s important. Because if you don’t do it, or are way off mark. I’ll drop you from the class.” 

 

“What...?” Some students asked. 

 

“You’ll have it a little harder than I did. When I was 9 and starting to learn Alchemy from a proper teacher she dropped me and my little brother off on an island in the middle of a lake for a month. It helps.” The students were all wide eyed. Edward smirked. “Spend some time outside, it’s where you’ll have the easiest time finding the answer.”

 

They all nodded. Edward could only grin. 

 

***

 

That evening while Edward was reading and eating a few letters were dropped on his book. He grinned looking them over. One from Al, one from Ling and one from Winry. He tore open the letter from Winry first. 

 

_ Ed, _

 

_ I’m glad you’re doing ok! This school sounds amazing, I can’t wait to see it! When can I come to visit? I hope I don’t just have to come because of your leg or something stupid like that! Speaking of your leg have you been oiling it properly? I hope so. Also you said in your last letter it gets cold there? Will you need to change out to your winter automail? If you think so tell me now- I’ll have to build your leg from scratch. You grew out of the last one!  _

 

_ Anyway, I’ll be heading out to Rush Valley soon to keep working. Have fun teaching! I miss you.  _

 

_ Love, Winry.  _

 

Ed smiled as he read it over. Lupin was grinning at him. 

 

“What?” He asked. 

 

“That letter smells like perfume.” He said with a chuckle. 

 

“Does no-” He was going to say not but Lupin was right. Had Winry sprayed her perfume on this...? Smelled like it. “Well damn.” 

 

“Is that your girlfriend?” 

 

“No.” Edward said putting the letter away “Fiance” 

 

“Woah. You’re kinda young.” He said 

 

“There was never anyone else.” He said simply. “So I figure don’t fuck around and just ask her.” 

 

“Hmm. Very wise.” Lupin said continuing his meal. 

 

“Here.” Ed said red faced. He pulled a picture out of his pocket. “She’s smart and adorable. Be jealous.” Lupin nodded looking the picture over 

 

“Stunning.” He said. Ed smirked and stashed the photo. 

 

Ed moved on to the letter from Alphonse. He had included a photo of him and Mei. Alphonse looked happy with her. 

 

_ Brother, _

 

_ That’s an interesting theory. But I doubt all wizards are living philosopher's stones like dad was. Dad didn’t need a wand. And they age. Maybe it comes from their qi? Alkahestry talks about qi being where the power comes from. Maybe wizards just have so much qi that they can bypass equivalent exchange? Find out if they feel fatigued after using too much magic. But no matter the answer I’m still eager to see it for myself! Let me know when I should come by! Do you think Mei could come too? She’s interested in magic as well.  _

 

_ Anyway, the far east of Xing is amazing. Thick jungles of vines and bamboo! The people out here use Alchemy as a way to farm and control water. It’s amazing. I hope to see you soon! _

 

_ -Al _

 

Wizards having qi... Interesting. He’d have to ask later when he had better materials on him. He opened the final letter from Ling. 

 

_ Ed. _

 

_ That magic stuff sounds cool. I bet Greed would have loved it.  _

 

Ed stopped for a moment. Greed would have loved magic. He’d have wanted to own it. Somehow. 

 

_ Anyway... I’m thinking it might be time to down that stone. I’ve been saving it for a while now... Honestly I’m afraid taking it will kill me. The emperor  is still holding on to life, but he’ll drop any day now. I suppose it’s now or never that I do it, huh? By the time you read this, I’ll probably have taken it. So I’m either immortal or dead.  _

 

_ I’ll have a letter sent either way.  _

 

_ Ling _

 

Edward reread the letter several times. His heart had dropped to his stomach. Ling could be dead. He could have been dead for days. 

 

_ “Bastard!”  _ He cried grabbing his stuff. He marched out of the hall still rereading the letter. Ling better be ok, or Edward was going to kill him, himself. 


	4. Chapter 4

Edward had sent Ling a letter demanding an explanation and hoping he was ok. He sent one to Al as well, hoping he would know something. In the meantime he tried to put it out of his mind. There was nothing he could do but hope Ling was tough enough to do this shit twice. He threw himself into work and research to keep his mind off Ling. He dove into the world of Defence Against the Dark Arts. 

He held a book up to his nose as he walked the halls. Lupin mentioned for the first lesson of his with the 3rd years he’d be in a staff room- and Ed had a question about some spell. He came into the class not even putting the book down. He heard the students laughing as he approached Lupin 

“Hey I got a qu-”

“Big brother Ed.” 

Edward’s blood ran cold, and the room became silent. He knew that voice, that sad distorted little voice... 

“Can we play now?” He looked to the voice, his body rigid. Nina, as was as a chimera sat there on the floor. 

“We’re just the same Edward.” Shou Tucker stood beside her with a large grin “Messing around with someone's life, it's our way Ed!” 

Edward was pressed against the wall, his eyes wide. They were dead. How could this even be real...?

“Big brother....”

Lupin finally came to his senses and stepped in front of Ed, Nina and Tucker turning to a strange orb. 

“Riddikulus!” He shouted and it became a balloon was forced into the cabinet. “Ed- you’re fine.” Lupin said to the other. 

“What the fuck was that?” Edward asked softly, frozen to the spot. 

“A boggart. A creature that takes on your greatest fear- It was my lesson.” 

“Oh. Fu-” He caught himself that time “I think I read about that...” He went pink and started to relax “Just... took me by surprise.”

“You’re alright. You didn’t even notice when you came in did you?” Lupin asked. 

“No.” Ed said 

“I'm not sure what that was, but you seem s hooked up, are you alright? ”

“I’m fine.” he sighed and quickly changed the subject “Anyway, I was reading and had a quick question.” He pulled the book up, as the students looked to each other. 

“Did you see that...?” Ron asked Harry and Hermione. “What the heck was that thing? And that guy!” 

“Poor Professor Elric....” Hermione said “He was shaking.”

“Guess he's seen a lot.” Ron said with a shrug. “It was creepy as hell but he looks okay now.”

“Yeah...”

***

The news of Edward’s encounter with a boggart seemed to spread quickly. By the next lesson, students were pestering him. The next class was with the third years, many of whom saw it first hand. 

“So, what was that little dog thing?” Malfoy asked sitting down with his cast on. 

“Shut up.” Edward said not even looking at him. “I’m not talking about it.” 

“Scared?” 

“Out of my goddamn mind.” Edward said “20 points from the green team.” 

“It’s Slytherin.” Malfoy snapped.. “Honestly. And Professor, I need someone to take my notes, I can’t use my hand.” 

“You’ve got two.” Edward said “Use your left hand.” 

“I’m right handed.” 

“So? When I was 11 I was... Well, lets say I couldn’t use my right hand for a while and learned to use my left. If your injury is as bad as you claim... You might not be able to use your arm all year. I’d get used to writing with my left hand if I were you.” Edward said “Anyway. Settle down I’ve got some serious shit to talk about today.” He said “We’re going to talk about dangers and taboos.” 

The class looked to each other as Edward began writing on the board. He looked to Malfoy as he switched hands midword. On the board he had written ‘Philosopher's Stone’ ‘Gold’ and ‘Human Transmutation’. 

“In alchemy, these are the taboos.” He said “The first is gold. It’s not so much of a taboo to turn lead to gold... More so it’s highly illegal.” Ron Weasley visibly slumped at this. “Anyone tell me why? No one but Hermione...? Alright Fraulein Granger.” He said as the girls swooned at his Amestrian. 

“It would lower the price of Gold. Gold is valuable because of how little of it there is.” 

“Five points to Gryffindor. Because you are right. It would defeat the purpose and just cause issues. Just, don’t make gold. Now... The other two are a bit more.... Well. Let’s talk about the stone.” Ed walked over to his desk and pulled out a glass case. Inside was a tiny red stone. One of the remainders from the Promise Day fiasco. Doctor Marco had sent one to Ed for teaching purposes. Ed considered throwing it out. “This, is a Philosopher's stone. Now, they are illegal to have unless you have proper documentation. Even more illegal to make... Stones are made from an energy. An energy made of human life. In this stone... This one alone... Are hundreds of souls.” 

The class gasped looking at the stone. Edward set it down. “With the stone you can bypass basic laws and make metal from thin air. But it uses up the souls inside... Hundreds of souls... used up in seconds...” He trailed off. “You can see why it’s not legal. It's inhumane... It’s one of the worst crimes an Alchemist can make. Don’t mess with the stone and that field. It only leads to bloodshed.” 

“The third...” Edward continued “Is somehow, in ways... Worse. Human transmutation, or trying to bring back the dead. First, you should note it’s impossible. You can make a body sure- it’s easy. The ingredients are cheap. But even if you made a body... What could possibly be equal to a soul?” He asked. He caught Harry’s eye. He could see the desire there. But it faded to sadness. Harry was smart. Smarter than Ed was. “There have been three documented cases of attempted human transmutation in the last few years. Each ended in a sad twist of fate... 

“A woman alchemist lost her baby after it was born. So she tried to bring it back, and it failed. And her uterus was taken.” Ed said softly looking down “So now, she could never have kids.” He continued “A man and his friend wanted to change their country for the better.” Edward hated fabricating this story... But it would drive the lesson home. “They wanted to see a brighter future. But the friend died and the man tried to bring him back. He lost his eyesight. Two brothers... Only 10 and 11 wanted to see their mom. The older wanted to stand and protect her- he lost his leg... the younger just wanted to feel his mother’s warmth... He... He lost his whole body. The older in despair pulled his soul out and bound it to a suit of armor in exchange for his arm.” 

The class was silent, a few people looked close to tears. 

“10 and 11...?” Lavender Brown asked, breaking down. Ed hated it when girls cried. 

“Alchemy is dangerous.” Edward said softly. “But so is magic isn’t it? Magic has curses and things like... Like Boggarts. But it has things that are good. Like cheering charms, and what not. Alchemy is good too. Alchemy is applied to medicine and can heal wounds. It can help you fight, it can make art. It has both. I just want you all to understand that Alchemy can hurt you if you don’t respect it and it’s rules. It’s unfair sometimes, unfair and harsh at it’s worst... But helpful and kind... At it’s best.” He clapped his hands together and touched his window, making a glass flower. A lavender. “It’s beautiful” He handed it over to Lavender Brown “Please stop crying, I can’t stand it.” His voice was so soft. 

She nodded and blushed deeply taking the glass flower, looking up at him with her big eyes. 

“Let’s move to something a bit happier.” Ed stood up and grinned. He wiped the board and started to draw “The parts of an Atom- who can tell me what an Atom is.... Other than Hermione.”


	5. Chapter 5

As days turned into weeks, there was still no letter from Ling on if he had survived taking the stone. The weather turned colder, and wetter. Which of course started to mess with leg. The weather gave his port unbearable pain at the best of times. Not to mention his shoulder where his automail arm used to be was hurting almost as bad. And of course his stomach was aching from where he had been impaled at Briggs. 

 

The leg was the worst, feeling more painful and stiff by the day. So much so, he had started limping a bit. The students and other teachers noticed. Madame Pomfrey practically dragged Edward to the Hospital wing when he started to limp. 

 

“I told you I’m fine.” He said after being forced to sit on a bed in the empty wing. “Nothing you can do. Just old wounds hurt in bad weather.” 

 

“I could give you a pain killer.” Poppy said. Edward looked up hopeful. A pain killer would be awesome “But I need to see the wounds first.” 

 

“I...” He thought it over. It was only getting worse... “Fine. Speak of them to no one.” He said and started to pull off his jacket. Poppy watched as his shirt came off. 

 

“My god...” She gasped. “What on earth...” 

 

“Not done.” He said kicking off his boot and pulling his pant leg up. 

 

“You poor dear.” She said softly. Ed turned around so she could see his back. “Is that a stab wound...?” 

 

“More like... Impaling. Had a building collapse on me- a metal rod went right threw me. Had to close it up myself. Course, that was a few years ago... Other two are even older.” 

 

“And you’re not even 20...” She said softly. “I think I have something that will ease the pain. It won’t get rid of it entirely... Those two.” She said pointing to his arm and leg “Are magical wounds. I can tell by the scar pattern. It’s not business what you did but I can’t do much other than ease the pain there. The one on your stomach should be gone with the use of this potion... I can ask Severus to brew something a bit stronger but...” She grabbed a potion from her office “This should hold you over until then.” 

 

He took it from her and drowned it, grimacing at the taste. But he felt instant relief. “That’s much better.” He said putting his boot back on and rolling his pant leg down. 

 

“It’s no trouble dear.” She said giving him a look “I’ll have to tell Severus about the leg, is that alright?” 

 

“If it gets rid of this pain sure.” He grabbed his shirt and looked at her “Thank you, I do feel better.” 

 

*** 

 

In the next week he had gotten a letter from Alphonse. He ripped it open right away while enjoying his breakfast. 

 

_ Brother. _

 

_ Mei and I turned around as soon as we got your letter. But when we got back to the capital Ling had disappeared. No one knows what happened to him. He only told them to leave him be and to not disturb him. After a few days they got into his room and he was gone. But I don’t think he’s dead. Lan Fan is missing too. I don’t know what happened to him. No one does. But he’s alive I think... He’s out there with Lan Fan doing something. I’ll write again as soon as I learn about anything new.  _

 

_ -Al _

 

“Dammit...” Ed muttered softly. 

 

“Something wrong?” Lupin asked. 

 

“Yeah...” Ed said “A friend of mine is missing. I have no idea what happened... I feel like I should be out there looking for him...” 

 

“I know the feeling.” Lupin said “But I’m sure he’ll be alright. I know it’s not my place to say, but I think you have nothing to worry about. Edward nodded, and somehow... Felt better. 

 

*** 

 

One month was up. Edward stood in the classroom as students filed in. Some looked upset. Ed smiled at them all. 

 

“Does anyone think they have it?” 

 

Some nodded. Others did not. Most handed in a paper. Malfoy and most of the Slytherins didn’t even bother to show up. He grinned. He took the papers from them and started to read them right on the spot. 

 

“You’re doing it now...?” Hermione asked. 

 

“What's the point in waiting?” Edward asked. “Well done Hermione, almost completely right.” He said giving her paper back. She sighed in relief. “Weasley, what? No. Goodbye.” 

 

“See ya guys.” Ron said with a wave. 

 

“Seamus, goodbye. Good work Dean. Lavender you’re so close.... Barely pass. Ah Boot, good job. Harry... Almost word for word for my definition. Good job.” Once he was finished there were ten students left. “Good work all of you. So who in their own words wants to share with the class? Dean?” 

 

“Ah sure.” Dean Thomas stood up “One is me. And I eat beef. Beef is cows. Cows eat grass. Which after I die and decompose my body becomes dirt which the grass uses to grow to be eaten by the chicken which I eat. It’s all the same thing. Everything.” 

 

“5 points to Gryffindor for that, and a point to each of you who passed.” Edward said with a grin “I’m very proud. Now with that, plus you’ve all got the basic parts of the atom, basic compounds as well as the whole periodic table. It’s time for the fun to begin. Deconstruction. What would deconstruction be in the alchemical process. Hermione I know you know. How about Susan Bones.” 

 

“Oh um... It’s... Where you take the atoms apart.” She said after flipping through her notes. 

 

“Perfect. Five points to the yellow team.” 

 

“Hufflepuff.” 

 

“What the hell is a Hufflepuff. Whatever.” 

 

“Sir.” Terry Boot said 

 

“What?” He asked

 

“Well I was thinking sir... Alchemy is really cool but. We can do most of this stuff with magic.” 

 

“You’re right.” Edward said after a moment. “You could. But, Alchemy makes up in areas where magic falls short. Specifically in the combat area. Granted I come from a militaristic nation and have a military background myself-” the students looked to each other “And knowing what I know about my country and my colleagues and what I know about this country and it’s military. I’m certain, any state alchemist could wipe out most of the aurors in a few minutes. Maybe less.” 

 

“Really...?” 

 

“You have little to no magic without a wand. What happens if it gets snapped... Or deconstructed?” Edward asked. “I know a man who can snap and it would blow up in flames right in your hand.”    
  


Terry Boot didn’t question alchemy after that. 

 

***

Halloween was upon them. Most of the school headed to Hogsmeade, the local village for the day. Ed smiled to himself and took the time to sit in his classroom and read about all the ways to counjur birds. Transfiguration served to be an interesting subject and yet horrified him. He couldn’t stop reading. He sipped his coffee enjoying the solitude.

 

That is until someone knocked on his door. 

 

“Yes.” Edward said with a sigh, setting his research aside. Severus Snape stood on the other side. “Oh. Come in.” He narrowed his eyes. He had hardly spoken to the other since his arrival. What on earth could he want..? 

 

“I was hoping I could ask you a question.” Snape said curtly. 

 

“Sure.” Edward said 

 

“Well... Since you arrived I did some research. Dumbledore added many new books on the subject... And I came across a rather intriguing area of Alchemy. Can Alchemy really bring back the dead?” Snape asked after a moment. Edward was stunned to say the least. He looked into Snape’s eyes and saw true desperation. It wasn’t the glimmer of hope that Harry had... These were the eyes of someone mad enough to do it. 

 

“No.” Edward said. “I don’t know anything other than it’s impossible.” 

 

“Are you sure...?” Snape asked eyes narrowing. 

 

Edward felt something. Something in his brain. He knew what this was. 

 

“Get the fuck out of my head.” Edward said, his temper finally boiling over. “Don’t ever, EVER try to look in there again. And as for human transmutation forget it. It doesn’t work. What’s dead is dead. Drop it now, never think about it again because you will fail. You will spend years working towards it, thinking you know better. But you will fail. You might even die. Lets hope you do if you ever try because let me tell you it’s not something you want to survive!” Edward yelled. Snape tried to say something but Ed cut him off, screaming now. “DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE WHO DO THIS? WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE?” Edward asked putting his leg up on a chair and rolling the pant leg up. Snape looked away. “DON’T LOOK AWAY, THIS IS WHERE YOU ARE HEADED IF YOU FUCK WITH HUMAN TRANSMUTATION. WHOEVER IT IS, ISN’T WORTH HAVING BURY TWICE WHILE YOU LIE IN A POOL OF YOUR SUFFERING AND GUILT AS THE IMAGES YOU’RE SHOWN HAUNT YOUR DREAMS. DON’T EVER, EVER FUCK WITH THIS AND DON’T YOU EVER INVADE MY MIND AGAIN!” Edward screamed until Snape had pressed himself to the wall. “Now get out, don’t talk to me again. And if I hear anything about and human transmutation again, I’ll snap your wand and beat you with my bear hands.” 

 

Snape could only nod and run. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit; whoops uploaded the wrong chapter. sorry bout that!

 

Edward had to take a breather after he blew up at Snape. He sunk down on his bed, panting a bit. His stump ached as the bad weather only got worse. He was feeling sick after that... Like his mind had been violated. He grabbed a picture of Winry from the shelf, trying to stay calm. He laid on the bed feeling a bit better. He thought of the way Winry would play with his hair when he got stressed at home... Thought about laying in bed with her. Sex. Then of course someone else had to sneak into his head. 

 

_ “You got sexy hips kid”  _

 

__ _ “Sex with you is like fighting. Fun and a little bloody~”  _

 

__ _ “When this is all done you’re coming to be part of my Xingese harem.”  _

 

He had to take a nap. Even if it was small. He had to get Greed out of his head, because he was dead. 

 

But before he could get comfortable his bedroom window burst open. Edward sat up to see the mess but standing in his bedroom was the missing Prince Ling Yao.  

 

“L-Ling!” Edward said standing up. “What the hell? Send me that fucking letter then disappear- Ling...?” Ling was staring at him silently. “Ling?” Ed asked again. Then Ling smirked. 

 

“Not quite.” He said, holding up his left hand. The ouroboros was there and that voice- unmistakable.  “Honey. I’m home.” Greed grinned pulling the speechless blond into a hug. “Miss me?” Greed asked. 

 

“What?” Edward pulled back holding him by the shoulders “You died. I watched you-” He looked away. He was near tears. 

 

“When prince swallowed the stone. Something happened and I was rebooted. Third times the charm I guess~” 

 

“Is Ling there two?” Edward asked still in shock 

 

“Right here!” He said flipping to Ling with ease. “Sorry for the shock Ed- when I took the stone and Greed showed up... Well he kinda went a little nuts saying he had to find you. Took him two weeks to start listening to me and Lan Fan.” Ling said pointing to the window. Lan Fan sat on the edge watching the two. “After which I gave him some general directions and we ended up here.” 

 

“Why did he go crazy...?” Ed asked. 

 

“I wanted to see you.” Greed said now in control. “My prize possession.” Greed said really turning up his charm. “I was back in the right spot and realised you weren’t in my harem. So I came running.” Greed lifted his chin kissing his neck. 

 

“I’m engaged you know.” Edward said softly, not pushing him away. “A lot happens when you’re dead for two years.” 

 

“I know.” Greed said before biting his neck gently, pushing him closer to the bed “Maybe I’ll own you both.” He whispered. Ed knew he should have punched him for that. But instead, pulled him down into a kiss. 

 

***

 

Edward panted and he lay on Greed’s chest. His own hair was down in a mess as was the other’s. He had needed that. He sat up slightly, looking up at Greed. He had missed the way Greed’s eyes looked. They were different from Ling despite being the same shape and color. It was just something about them... 

 

“I missed you.” Edward said softly 

 

“Mmm, I missed you too.” Greed said pulling Ed’s head up a bit more “God, you look just the same yet completely different.” He said softly “Where’s the sappy inexperienced teenager I fell for in the woods?” 

 

“He grew up into a sappy slightly less inexperienced young adult.” Ed said softly. Greed laughed and took his right hand 

 

“And this shit... Man I was so fucking glad I got to see you get this shit fixed. Sorry your leg is still a hunk of junk.” He said

 

“Nah. It reminds me not to do stupid shit.” Edward said “And it was always about getting Al restored. From the start I never gave a damn about my own limbs.” Edward mumbled softly He glanced at the clock and sighed. The Halloween feast must be finishing up around now. His stomach growled. 

 

“Sounds like someone’s hungry~” Ling said taking control. 

 

“Mmm. Yeah. I’ll have a big breakfast.” He said hoping to finally get some sleep. That is until someone was knocking hard at his office door. “Damn.” He muttered “Hold on- I’m coming.” He slipped pants on, not bothering to fix anything else. He opened the office door to the face of McGonagall 

 

“Elric- Black has been spotted in the castle.” She said before noticing his state. “Get dressed we need to search this castle top to bottom.” She ordered. 

 

“Yeah.” He nods “Five minutes.” He closes the door and tosses on a shirt “You, stay put. Last thing I need is you running around. Lan Fan!” He called out the window. “Inside please.” She nodded and came down from her perch. “Stay.” He warned them both throwing shoes on. “I mean it.” He ran out of the office before even fixing his hair. 

 

Edward met up with the other teachers outside the great hall. All the students had been put in there for now. Ed looked to the other teachers and stood by Lupin. 

 

“What the hell happened?” he asked. 

 

“Black attacked the fat lady, the painting that guards Gryffindor tower.” Lupin said, before asking “Where were you at dinner?”

 

“I was feeling ah... under the weather.” he said “Was half asleep when McGonagall came to get me.”

 

“Lupin, Elric.” McGonagall said “Both of you search the library and astronomy tower.” She ordered. Edward nearly saluted but caught himself.

 

        The two set off for the library which held no sign of Black. 

 

       “I highly doubt Sirius Black would ever hide in library. Let alone step foot in one.” Lupin said 

 

       “You sound like you would know.” Edward said looking between shelves. Lupin didn't respond instead looking down. “Something wrong?” 

 

       “Nothing newly wrong no. It's just... I thought I knew him better than anyone at one point.”

 

         “Sirius Black, you mean.” Edward said making sure. 

 

         “We went to school together. We were the best of friends. Him, me, a man named Peter Pettigrew and James Potter.” 

 

       “Potter?” Edward asked. “Like, Harry Potter?”

 

        “His father.” Lupin said “The four of us were inseparable. But... Sirius betrayed James and got him killed then murdered Peter...” He shook his head “he's not the man I thought he was....”

 

        “Sorry.” Edward said “That must have been hell.” 

 

        Lupin didn't say more. 

 

***

 

        The whole castle took hours to search, but Sirius Black was gone. No one had seen him besides a painting and a ghost. There was no sign he was even here. Edward and Lupin waited in the Entrance hall for more orders. McGonagall and Dumbledore came down the steps from the grand staircase with a teacher Edward had never laid eyes on before. She was very skinny with lots of big hair and big glasses that made her eyes look huge. 

 

“Professor I have felt a strange presence in the castle tonight I swear. A man covered in blood with long black hair like ink!” 

 

“Yes Trelawney we are well aware Sirius Black was here.” McGonagall spat. But Trelawney ignored her. 

 

“Soaked in the blood of many souls!” Trelawney cried. Dumbledore merely smiled. 

 

“Yes I imagine he would be.” Dumbledore said and turned to the other teachers. “The dementors are angry and wish to search the castle. But they won’t while I am Head Master. But it does seem we will have to beef up security.” 

 

“Blood!” Trelawney cried “Blood and Greed!”

 

Edward stiffened. 

 

“Sybil please. He isn’t here.” McGonagall said 

 

“Either way.” Dumbledore brushed them off with a smile “It is late. I shall check on the students and make sure they are kept watched all night. The rest of you should get to bed.” 

 

Edward didn’t need telling twice. He tucked some hair behind his ear before making his way back to his office. He came in and closed the door behind him, and Greed. Or Ling? Whichever. He was right where Edward had left him. 

 

“I’m so tired.” Ed muttered before falling face first into bed, kicking his boots off. 

 

“I bet. You were gone for way too damn long.” So Greed was in control.  “What were you all even looking for?” 

 

“A mass murderer who wants to kill a teenager.” Edward mumbled letting Greed pull him closer. 

 

“Ouch. Did he murder any teenagers?”  Greed asked. Edward shook his head “Lame.” 

 

“Shut up. I wanna sleep.” Ed said relaxing. 

 

Greed only grinned. 


End file.
